


It’s like some surprisingly inclusive and irritatingly sugar-coated rom-com

by RocioWrites



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, POV Outsider, Post-Canon, Retirement AU, character reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 16:24:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10575045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocioWrites/pseuds/RocioWrites
Summary: Retirement AU: Viktor Edition. If you have no idea what that means, it all started with SkyGem’s tumblr post and then my hand slipped. Repeatedly.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this:  
> http://rocioandthatsall.tumblr.com/post/158370819805/skygemspeaks-okay-but-imagine-yuuri-retires-from
> 
> Also, in case it gets a bit confusing at the beginning, Sam goes by they/them pronouns!

Sam is her best friend, they’ve been inseparable ever since high-school when they discovered they were both fans of the same anime (and even shipping the same unpopular pairing, how precious was that?). So she’s not surprised to learn Sam’s taking a Japanese course - “Wouldn’t it be awesome to watch anime without subs?!” they have happily said too many times.

What surprises Laura is that Sam comes back from their first class with a cheerful broken heart and the tale of the most attractive man alive. She doesn't believe them right away, because for one, who could come back with a broken heart and still be more than fine? And two, _come on_ , hottest man alive? In their class? Yeah sure, that only happens in fiction, Sam, _please_ , get a grip on your thirst.

The next two hours are full of gossip about this God amongst men. He’s Russian, a provocative accent drips from his words when he speaks too quickly (which he does a lot since he’s unapologetically excited about _everything_ ), all fashionable clothes that do nothing to cover the fact that his body is basically perfect: tall, long limbs, lean and muscular body, athletic but actually too lean for most sports? Sam speculates this guy must go to the gym but avoid putting excessive muscles somehow. He has stylized silver hair (“Did you just say silver hair?” “Yes.” “Not bleached or gray or ash blond?” “Nope.” “Silver?” “Silver.”) that makes a nice contrast with his gorgeous blue eyes and lovely smile. Viktor – finally Sam tells (more like _moans_ ) the name – is such an expressive and fun person, simply charming from head to toes. He looks like a model, bless his soul for gracing mortals with his beauty.

The last name is tricky so they don’t remember it right away, not that Laura actually cares for it.

“But he’s married!” Sam cries out after listing most of Viktor’s good traits – which apparently are infinite.

“Oh.” Laura has some compassion in her and hugs her friend. “Pity.”

“But I’m so happy he’s in my class! Imagine how boring I’d be without such an eye candy...” They sigh. “And dude, he’s so in love? He told everyone how he wanted to learn Japanese because his husband is Japanese and his in-laws don’t speak English.”

“That’s really nice of him.”

“I know!” They whine. “How can such a man even exist?” Laura laughs and shrugs, still unconvinced. “I want one just like that.” A brief pause. “Fuck it, I want five, ten!”

*

The husband – Yuuri, Sam is quick to inform her after only a handful of days – is apparently even more perfect than Viktor. Or so Viktor claims. Yuuri is not only attractive but such a good person, kind and sweet, a bit shy, he enjoys ice skating and dancing. And Viktor shows up with homemade cookies once that taste awesome so they’re inclined to think Yuuri is a good cook too.

She’s starting to doubt this story though. Not Sam’s words but Viktor’s, obviously. Everything sounds so cute and amazing, it’s just too perfect to be real. It’s like some surprisingly inclusive and irritatingly sugar-coated rom-com.

And after getting over her self-hate for not taking the course like Sam asked her to do, Laura is convinced she needs to meet this man. She has to make sure this guy is honestly _that_ hot _and_ lovely to revert Sam into this hopelessly crushing teenager (“You’re 24! Please stop sighing like that!” “I’m sorry not sorry, L. You just have to meet him, girl, Viktor has that effect on people.”).

Okay, fine, she needs to meet him!

For selflessly purposes only. Yes, of course.

*

Laura can barely contain all the excitement. Sam – being the best friend they are – organized a coffee shop “date” with some of their classmates and made a lousy excuse for Laura to also be part of the outing.

However, all the excitement goes to waste because something extremely important sprung on Viktor and he couldn’t make it.

She feels devastated. A part of her, really deep within, chastises herself. Seriously, she just wants to meet the man to make sure his perfect rom-com life is a lie that everyone believes because he’s either too attractive or pretty convincing. Not because she’s expecting Viktor to be the awesome man they say he is.

In the end, Laura marks the outing as fun. She gets to know Sam’s study group - they all seem so nice! She gets good coffee and delicious pastries. And, more importantly, she gets more info about Viktor and his husband.

It turns out everyone – _EVERYONE_ – is crushing on this Russian specimen. If the hotness wasn’t enough, he clearly is a good person. Will chimes in how he helped him with pronunciation. Anna retells how he gentlemanly offered his phone to her when she needed to call home and her own phone run out of battery, this is how they got to know the dog he owns is an adorable brown poodle because Viktor’s phone background is a picture of said dog. Lily offers her story about Viktor helping her and a bunch of others with that part in last week’s homework that was quite difficult.

Laura leaves the cafe with the feeling that this man _has_ to be fictional. Or a collective hallucination.

*

Sam does nothing but screech all the way from the hallway to her room. Thankfully, her mother is a saint who never bats an eye at her best friend’s behavior.

“What?” Laura protests. She was working on her own homework – college is hard, mind you.

“LOOK!” And they thrust the phone into her hands. “Sophie and Mark had the best idea ever! They insisted on taking a bunch of pictures of us and I landed with lots of Viktor’s!” She blinks. “Just look!”

And she does.

Oh does she look at that!

Viktor is as beautiful as Sam told her. His smile is so bright and he definitely looks like a model. (And man, what a great ass! Sam never mentioned Viktor filling his pantsuits so amazingly.)

So it turns out this man is as hot as everyone says so. _Fuck_.

“Wow.” She mumbles in a small breath.

“Yeah. I _know_.”

*

She is done.

With Viktor and his perfect face and his perfect husband and their adorable love story. With her best friend (“Sam please just _stop_.”). Jesus, Laura is even done with Sam’s classmates – she’s been added to their despairing group chat, she can’t even recognize it because its name changes all the time referencing the cute thing Viktor did this time around.

It’s amazing. And irritating.

Laura can’t cope.

Lily sends her private messages, apologizing from time to time and actually being a nice person who asks her what she’s studying and how is everything going on in her life and if she could finish that paper she was writing.

Damn Sam and their fascination with Japanese culture. This wasn’t supposed to be their lives. She was not supposed to have a platonic crush on a Russian deity - that she hasn’t really met! - and another not so platonic crush on Sam’s extremely kind classmate whose non-platonic crush surely is the mentioned perfect Russian guy.

Laura is _so done_.

*

Her phone starts to buzz way too early. Laura knows her friends are in class right now and she should be focusing on this goddamn text book.

It doesn’t happen quite like that.

“He’s late.” The first message announces, Sam adds a sad emoji at the end, for dramatics.

Laura doesn’t need to question who they’re talking about.

Will sends way too many emojis and she doesn’t even stop to watch them – they’re surely all crying faces.

“Shhh.” Anna writes next, she’s the kind of person who never silences her phone. Laura feels sorry for her, this group chat is a _mess_.

“What do u think it happened 2 him? Viktor’s always on time!” Will texts.

“You’re all in class.” Laura tries to reason. “Please.” But she has put the book aside in favor of this conversation, so.

“Sensei is looking! Stop it!” Lily warns.

And that does it, for some time at least. The chat goes silent for more than half an hour, she attempts to go back to her boring reading. She’s taking some notes and actually writing down some question to ask in class when the buzzing starts again, relentless this time around.

“OHMYG OD” is Will’s eloquent way to start the new talk. If you can call it that.

“I have been blessed, I can die now.” Sam writes quickly after. Will replies with another bunch of emojis, hearts and stars and whatnot.

“Sweet Jesus. I just.” Anna adds.

“What?” Laura has to asks. She counts with Lily explaining what’s happening to her.

“I cant believ it.” She texts instead.

“You’re starting to worry me?” Laura sends, student duties completely forgotten by now. “What is happening?”

“VIKTOR! IS HERE GOD IS REAL”

“Will please, stop it with the capslock.” Sam reprimands.

“Viktor is there? Wow so late.” Laura really wants this conversation to move forward, to a point where they explain why Viktor arriving late deserves all these incoherent messages.

Okay, she gets it, this Russian god-like man is to be celebrated as soon as he shows up but they need to calm the fuck down. For real now.

“It’s more than that!”

“Such a nice look on him!” The added heart-eyes emoji clears nothing for Laura.

“And are those hickeys????”

“WHAT?” And this, Laura screams out loud until she regains her senses and types it.

Sam scurries away with a halfhearted excuse and calls her while locked in a bathroom stall, words fast and excited, they explain it all. How Viktor arrived not only late but completely lacking of his pristine glow. Oh he glows, but like a sexy mess, clothes tousled and hair barely combed. It is perfection. His blue eyes seem far far away, in sweet fantasy land, his doped grin is proof enough. And if that wasn’t all, the hickeys Lily spotted only confirm it further.

Yuuri, Laura and Sam come to realize, is incomparable.

*

Her mother pretends to not notice Sam’s new tendency of just shrieking all the way from the front door to her room, the louder the more exciting the news about Viktor turns out to be. Laura, as a mere human being with all her flaws, waits for every new update like a starving person lost in a desert. Sometimes the news have been spoiled by someone on the group chat, sometimes it’s something beautifully untouched.

This time, Sam doesn’t wait for her mother to close the door, Laura runs from her room to intercept them somewhere in the hallway, eyes bright and smile already splitting her face in half.

“You will meet him!” They announce as soon as they’re at arms length and Laura inexplicably feels like crying.

“I know!”

Her mother shakes her head and disappears.

“And we all will finally meet Yuuri!”

They hug.

“How did he even get so many free tickets?” She asks, voice cracking a bit.

Why the hell is she so emotional about this? Oh God.

“Who even cares?” Sam rebukes, burying their face on her shoulder and jumping around a bit.

Honestly now, she doesn’t care enough to give this a second thought, why would she? All she wants is to go there and (finally!) meet Viktor and his perfect husband.

A dream come true.

*

Anna informs them that she’s been there for other exhibition and they’ve got goddamn good seats – places that look like would’ve been reserved for the family and guests of the skaters performing.

“Imagine if Viktor is the skater!” Will jokes, laughing noisily. Sam joins in shortly after.

“Oh shut it.” Lily says, smiling too.

It’s contagious, Laura finds herself laughing too.

“Yuuri loves skating, right? That’s what he said! Maybe Yuuri is the skater!” Will keeps it up, doubling over when Anna smacks him without real force.

As if that kind of things happened in real life, _please_.

They just laugh.

*

They make a fundamental mistake, that is to not establish a meeting point with Viktor. He gave Lily the tickets and told them he would see them there and that was it. They wait until it’s almost too late to get in and be seated. An absolute fear settles on their hearts when every seat in this row is already occupied.

“Um.” Laura hears herself saying, lowly, watching carefully to both sides and then behind.

In front of them the ice rink is impressive, very intimidating.

People all around are loud and there’s an electric excitement in the air, just a spark and it’ll be a roar of an explosion. Sam grabs her hand, suddenly shy and overwhelmed by the crowd. Will decides to sit at their other side, as if to shelter Sam and Laura only feels relieved their classmates are as kind as they are.

Everything feels like too much.

_Skaters might seems fragile, might as well be fragile. But they are performers and on the ice, they’re God._

Viktor had said that, Laura remembers how Sam retold it, as if Viktor saying such a serious thing was out of the ordinary.

It turns out the joke’s on them.

Everything happens way too fast to comprehend. The announcer speaks, thanking everyone for coming and all the regular stuff, people start clapping and outright screaming at the mention of “the fabulous skaters presenting tonight”. They’re so out of it, they know literally nothing about this world. It’s as exciting as it is frightening.

“And since everyone’s so ready, let’s begin already, right?” The voice fuels the crowd that responds with more loud screams. “Very well then! Let’s welcome the most decorated single ice skater so far, the man who coached recently retired Japan’s #1 figure skater, the legend and hero of Russia, Viktor Nikiforov!”

The voices flex as one, impossibly loud, they’re cheering, crying, begging. It’s astonishing.

“What?” Sam croaks completely awestruck.

“Did he just say…?” Lily wonders at her other side.

“His name is Viktor Katsuki-Nikiforov now! Check your facts!” Someone screams at Will’s far side, a cute dark-skinned foreigner that’s just where they want to be.

“Oh my God.”

“ _Fuck_.” Laura mumbles.

Just…

Viktor. Fucking. Nikif— _Katsuki-Nikiforov_. Just. Skates to the middle of the rink, waving his hand to everyone, winning smile in place. He is gorgeous. Really like an Ice-Skating God. Laura can’t cope, seriously. He’s an angel enveloped in silver and purple and black, outfit sinfully tight.

Then, the music begins.

Laura doesn’t understand the technicalities of this kind of show – because watching this beautiful human being slide across the ice so gracefully _is_ a show. Viktor goes like he’s flying, effortlessly weightless. He jumps and the crowd goes wild again and again. The commenter names every twist and jump, Laura misses it all, fully concentrated in Viktor’s movements and nothing else.

Sam squeezes her hand from time to time, incoherent exclamations falling from their lips.

This man is perfection personified. It is incredible.

The song ends and in accordance, Viktor stops moving for a few seconds before the roar of the crowd is enveloping everything and it forces him to stand and wave all around, bowing too, such a bright smile curving his lips.

“Viktor Nikiforov, you people!” The announcer cheers before the legend of Russia bows for the last time and disappears out of the ice rink.

“Show off, this old man!” A blond teen screams above the noise and it has them all glaring at the culprit, the foreign cutie who clarified Viktor’s last name sits beside the angry teen and is smiling from ear to ear. “Tch!” The accent is thick and he seems Russian.

Will isn’t happy with those words but turns back towards the rest of them, deciding to ignore the teen.

“Oh my God.” Anna finally speaks, and Lily is speechless. “Your joke.” She continues and, squashing herself against Lily to reach, pokes Will on the chest. “You were right, I can’t believe it!”

“Oh.”

“I can’t believe it either?” Will asks more than affirm and he’s suddenly grinning. “Oh God.”

Sam quickly fishes for their phone and opens Google.

Checking Viktor’s wiki is easy from there on. They watch half of his Stay Close To Me program before the announcer is speaking again.

“That was amazing! Right?” The clamor is a unanimous affirmation. “I know!” And a short laugh, like the guy is as bewildered as them. “Now, please welcome Japan’s Ace, the one and only, Yuri Katsuki!”

The clapping is deafening once again.

“Is that…?” Laura barely says when Cute Foreigner starts shouting something that, by the tone and smile, sounds like flattery in a language she doesn’t recognize.

Angry Russian Teen makes a displeased face and Cute Foreigner yells, “It’s Yuuri Nikiforov-Katsuki!” This guy knows his skating trivia, huh.

They have no time to think much of this man correcting the announcer and his angry friend since Yuuri shows up, all lights on him.

His outfit is silver like Viktor’s but blue and white complement it. Also sinfully tight.

Laura’s throat goes dry, Viktor’s husband is everything they’ve heard and _more_.

“Oh fuck, my whole joke is real!” Will cries out, a mix of amusement and hysterics.

Yuuri’s attractive, oh that he is. But his smile shines so authentically, he moves with so much grace as if the music that starts it only does so to follow him, enamored of him as everyone else.

If Viktor seemed to fly, Yuuri seems to float and dance and make you fall in love with him, with the ice, with skating. He shows a presence and a sense of belonging on the ice that settles low in Laura’s lungs. She wonders absentmindedly if her friends are feeling the same observing this man – skating God just like his husband.

Once again she understands nothing of the technical terms thrown so easily by the commenter but she wants nothing more than to get a bit of attention from this man, toe loops and lutz and whatnot be damned. She sees him jump and rotate in the air and his body is pure elegant strength.

She’s the one squeezing Sam’s hand this time around, trying to ground herself.

This is the weirdest rom-com in real life she’s ever witnessed. Mixing sport and a biracial non-heterosexual pairing. Honestly, Viktor’s life sounds even more fake now.

But he’s real. And his husband is too.

She feels like crying although she’s not quite sure if it’s because she can't even get a decent boyfriend and she’s envious or because Yuuri skates so beautifully that she’s moved to tears.

Anna is actually crying and Lily is patting her back. Will, on the other side looks petrified, too much incredible things happening at once. Laura gets it.

Music slows and lights dim and with arms stretched and heavy breathing, Yuuri stops at the center again. People love him and his skating. Cute Foreigner stands immediately, clapping furiously. Will follows and soon the whole place is doing the same.

“I’m sorry.” She hears Anna say in a somewhat whisper to Lily.

Deep down, Laura thinks she should be a bit jealous, she really likes Lily. But honestly? She can’t blame Anna for reacting like that.

Sam hugs her from the side, grinning, adrenaline clearly flowing.

“I’m so glad I decided to take that Japanese course!” They giggle. Laura laughs with them, returning the embrace.

“Is that Viktor?” Angry Russian Teen asks. “Ugh.”

They all look and yes, effectively, Viktor is once again on the ice. He hugs his husband and spins him, both smiling so openly. Cute Foreigner has his phone out and is apparently filming the exchange.

“They’re going to do it!” He exclaims cheerfully and Angry Russian Teen makes a retching sound as if he’s about to puke.

“And now, for our viewing pleasure, Viktor and Yuri will pair skate for us!”

The crowd muffles even her thoughts with their loudness, it’s amazing. This couple is adored by skating fans. Laura couldn’t be happier.

When the music starts, they all recognize it as the song from the program they got to watch on Youtube before Yuuri skated. It makes Laura shiver, the emotion of the song, the two of them looking into each other’s eyes so lovingly, skating so in synch as if no one was watching them…

Laura has never been a romantic person but damn these two and their glinting wedding rings. She does cry now.

Anna and Will are silently sobbing too. She can’t imagine what it must be like, they’ve been seeing this man regularly every week, having classes with him, sharing complaints and jokes and personal info and _fuck_ , Viktor just happens to be this decorated skater, legend amongst professional skaters, and his husband is also an impressive skater, they’re great.

She puts her head on Sam’s shoulder and doesn’t let go of their hand. Watching Viktor and Yuuri skate together feels like watching lovers dance in the intimacy of their bedroom to this slow piece, declaring their worshiping adoration for the other. It’s disgustingly lovely, so sweet.

Both jump and twist and guide and are guided, how can two men be so graceful? Laura seriously wants to stop crying but she can’t.

“I didn’t know skating was so gorgeous.” Sams tells her and she nods.

“Thank you.” What Laura is thanking them exactly for, she isn’t sure. For being her friend, for telling her about this Russian deity in their class, for making her part of this, for bringing her along. For all of the above.

“You’re welcome.”

*

They finally get to grab a coffee with Viktor the next day. Will was mortally wounded at not knowing how much of skating Gods Viktor and his husband were so he insisted and Viktor obliged.

Yuuri greets them so shyly that it almost seems like he’s a completely different person from the seductive man they saw dancing on ice. He’s cute under normal circumstances, dorky blue-framed glasses hiding his beautiful eyes.

Viktor, just as Sam has told her, is easy to talk to and extremely friendly, more charming than he has any right to be. With his husband at his side, she can confirm they’re so in love she wants to cry.

Anna and Will spend the whole while complaining about Viktor’s secrecy and he finds it hilarious. Yuuri looks embarrassed but ultimately grateful that Viktor has made friends in his Japanese class.

Sam recites a few of the trivia they’ve memorized overnight and Viktor nods along, confirming every fact with a smile. They’re so satisfied that they don’t bring up the binge watching of all of his programs.

Lily mentions a few things she read about Yuuri and Viktor fills in the gaps with amazing commentary, making his husband flush and try to divert the conversation towards academics. He asks about their studies and Laura is happy to join in and talk about her program – Yuuri is an excellent listener.

They’re both such good company to be honest.

Laura laments one last time having let go the opportunity to take this class with Sam. However, she thinks it was for the best. She can barely cope with Viktor and Yuuri being a diverse living rom-com mixed with a sport subplot. Laura is happy she got to meet these two though, their love is real, she knows that now, and that’s more than what she can deal with.


End file.
